Destiny____

Friday, February 22, 2008

...Another Master Piece..

Have been thinkin quite a lot these few daes.. juz killing some of my brain cells thinkin abt my future and issues dat i nv thought of.. and i came up wif another Master Piece.. heehee there it goes..

我不知道。。
我觉得我的眼前好黑暗
光明在那里？？

那种感觉又回来了
好像一旦被拒绝那里就变成了禁地我就再也走不进去
可是我还能去那里??
我觉得我的前方好茫然

今天我终于把事情看得很透彻
是因为我们拥有的太多了
所以我们同时也失去了彼此

是因为失去了彼此
我才领悟到一个开始终就会有结束的那一天。。。

7:13 AM

*gReYS*

Thursday, February 21, 2008

.... Goal?.. Dream?.. Passion?....

Goal.. Dream.. Passion?? First things first.. i would like to thank Gods for answerin my prayers.. Monday 18th Feb i have been offered an interview chance a Mediacorp on 20th Feb Wednesday! =D i was like jumping for joy when i recieved the call!! And yup! the day finally arrived which was ystd.. oh my.. i was like goin to die of heart attack on the way there!

3 ppl interviewed me.. i find one of them familiar.. and yup! she appears on TV before! She is Wu Yong Hua i think? Coz i applied for a job as an Assiatant Producer for Chinese Entertainment so of course she muz be there coz she is the producer for Project Superstars.. Campus Superstars and Superband! And yup! i actually shake hands wif every intervwer Ok! this is a form of politness.. haha i hope this earn me some points! ;) lol.. The interview go on quite smoothly.. they seems to be quite nice.. smilin all the way.. first things first when i enter they start to giggle abt sis's occupation.. coz i wrote there Asthma Consultant.. so i gave them a blur look and they explained dat earlier they were tokin abt the child of one of the interviewer.. so i told them "Ohh ok! she is outside right now" yup! coz sis accompanied me there.. and Ms Wu was like jokinly tell the lady.. "Ohh so later u can go n consult" and she ask me " its free of charge one rite?" and i was like *BURRR* and i replied "err.. yaa..." Tian ah! first time see me already so Partially HIGH liao ah??

Okie.. back to biz.. the interview started..

3rd interviewer: so y would u choose this job?

ahgrace: becos im interested in the media..

Ms Wu: becos u like to watch tv?

ahgrace: yup! coz see its like so fun to produce a programme..

Ms Wu: so wads ur goal in this field? (haizz.. this question is i nv thought of b4 lor.. in my mund i was thinkin.. my goal now is to get a job.. let me explore this industry den i will noe wad is my ultimate goal..) so i juz replied..

ahgrace: nv thought of b4.. juz wanted to explore this industry first.. i dun mind to work from the lower status..

Ms Wu: wads the diff between diploma n advanced diploma..

ahgrace: diploma have hands-on but adv dip is more theorical..

and i forgot wad we said and Ms Wu suddenly asked.. y dun u go n study sumthing related like mass communications b4 gettin this job?" and i was like *BLURR* so i replied her.. "im a mass comm graduate" and the 3rd interviewer quickly showed her my applicaiton form... in my heart i was like.. Oh my! did u read my appliaction form properly??

**Continue..**

Ms Wu: so wad hands-on u did?

ahgrace: we did a small production and we oso go go into a studio

HR Lady: so tell us more abt ur production.. like wad is ur role and the difficulties u faced

ahgrace: Our topic is abt child abuse.. but it somehow went a little out of track.. my role is to handle the camera and prepare the scripts.. and the rest of the job is shared by the other members of the grp.. as for the difficulties.. we haf to get the correct position of the sunlight coz if we back face our actors face will turn out dark..

3rd Interviewer: so wad u did in the studios?

ahgrace: i oso handle the camera..

Ms Wu: u seems to be more interested in the technical areas.. (in my mind i feel like tellin her.. actually is becos camera is much easier to handle..lol)

3rd interviewer: so do u noe wad is the job scope of an Assistant Producer?

ahgrace: we haf to control crowds to prevent them from walkin into the camera shots..we haf to take note of the clothings goin out and rmb to bring them back.. dun leave anithings behind..we oso haf to do camera scripts.. like record down the camera shots.. MS..CU..LS

Ms Wu: ohh.. so u all haf learn dat too??

And of course ahgrace said YES! confidently.. lol but oso muz thank ah min for tellin me wads a cam script before hand! lol den the 3rd interviwer suddenly said.. "actually the major job for an Assistant producer is dat u haf to assist the producer from location research.. bookin of artistes.. preparin clothes.. and handle every little things in the whole production..and when producer sae go home sometimes oso haf to stay until very late.. and even weekends u might oso be pulled out to work can u take it?" and of course at dat very moment haf to sae YES i can..

Okie.. everything seems to be goin smoothly until they ask me if i got ani questions.. haizz.. normally i won't ask questions at all.. but ystd i juz ask.. " do i haf to sign ani contract?" den the HR lady replied.. "yes u may haf to sign 1 or 2 yrs" den the Ms Wu ask.. "is there anithing wrong?" so honestly i replied.. "juz feel abit scared to haf a contract wib me.." den she replied.." if u r scared.. then gif u 1 or 2 yrs u oso can't lean anithing" so i replied back.. "yup! i will try to 忍" wah! and she shoot back.. "not 忍 de problem but u muz haf the passion.."so after dat end of interview.. and i was like so upset abt it.. it seems dat the smooth interview haf been ruin.. but after dat i haf straighten my thoughts.. wad she sae is quite true.. if i tolerate.. no passion its juz makin my life difficult.. this made me think back.. wad i thinkin now issit a Goal? a Dream? do i haf the Passion? i dunno.. will they gif me this chance to realised my Passion or if its juz a Dream..??

I told mum abt my unhappiness.. she told me "its alright.. juz treat its as a form of exposure.. at least u noe u haf to sign contract so dat u can be mentally prepared even if u r offered wif this job.. and u r juz like me.. dun like to haf contracts on hand.." i admit dat after hearin wad mum say im a little consoled.. but i still feel a little bad.. and juz nice ystd nite we haf steamboat and we open 2 bottles of Brezeers and i start to drink.. and i realised dat drinkin really helps when u r down.. i feel so slpy and this mornin i wake up mum ask.. "ur hangover over?" and i was like.. "huh?? no hangover lah.. juz very tired and slpy.." Yes! really.. tired n slpy.. im totally physically n mentally tired ystd.. from the interview to a little shoppin wib godma from Bishan to Ang Mo Kio.. totally tired..

Oh my!! Pls let me haf this job!! Pls forget all abt the contract stuffs.. im willin to learn!! im really interested in this field!! =I

5:15 AM

*gReYS*

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

=我要说出我的心里话...=

Todae is as shag as ystd.. coz my problems from ystd still have not been resolved.. =_=''' Abt the job offered.. i think i will be resolved by fri? coz i will go n EXPERIENCED the workin situation..as for the WS thingy.. i ran away from it.. i din even stepped out to make my way to WS.. LOL

Hmm.. well.. the Europe trip.. i think i haf come to a conclusion sayin NO.. Too silly to give up such good chance? Hmmm.. but juz dun wan to waste ani unwanted expenses for mum n dad.. aniwaes Europe countries is all abt castles and history.. Oh god! i had enuf of dat since secondary schl..yet still din pass haha aiya.. But such countries got nth i noe abt.. the scenery may be nice.. but oh wells.. heard dat there will be a trip comin up at year end to Taiwan? I hope it really happens.. at least go there i got MORE THINGS to SEE!! haha U all noe lah.. =P and oso more things to EAT!! LOL so hope dat can save up a little by then...

Wells.. actually i oso left my Europe trip fate on a Mediacorp job dat i applied for ystd.. I told myself.. if they called me todae for an interview maybe i will consider to go Europe wif them coz at least got a little chance to get in? den can earn some money at least if really mum dad pay for the fares first den when i got my pay i can return them? Oh wells.. i literally hold on to the phone wherever i go.. check it when i left it off awhile but... no news.. =(

I really hope dat i could get dat job dat i applied for.. coz its really wad i wan.. and i wan a stable job.. i really dun wan to sit at home to shag already..i wan to run away from eatin porridge EVERYDAE!! oh my!! I wan to run away from teaching Valentin English and Chinese!!

Honestly.. im really worried dat the longer i stay at home.. the lazier i get.. I dun wan to be like this!! Dun wan!! The longer i stay at home.. i feel more n more useless.. NONONONO!! I DUN WAN!! But juz WHY!! i tried my best sendin all my resumes out.. but juz no one wan to "hue "me? haizz.. *sad* PLEASE!! Anyone out there.. Warner Music.. HypeRecords.. Ocean Butterfly.. HIM International Music.. Mediacorp.. Sisitc...etc.. give me a chance!! I haf sent my resume liao.. Please read it!! *sob*sob*

8:00 AM

*gReYS*

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

*Why so mani things to consider in one dae?* 12 02 08 TueSdaY

Haizz..dunno y todae my brain haf been crushed down wib a lot of things to consider... First its my dear best fren offered me a job... omg! sometimes i really dunno wads wif me.. even juz a simple decision whether to work anot i oso haf to think so long.. haizz.. I dunno y can't i juz be more out-goin abit.. at least my life may be better? Haizz.. another thing oso worrie dat if my sales is not good oso will kana hump-thump.. =S Haizz.. juz when will i stop thinkin too much dat made me too scared to accept a job...

Secondly is sis ask me to go try out at white sands to see if they wan to hire ani ppl.. wah lau! i will sae dat is the first place i will blacklist if i wan to job hunt! coz so mani ppl i knew will walk in & out of white sands! **Burr** i dun wan them to see me there sia.. =(

Thirdly oso lastly.. Shld i go Europe wib Neng Neng.. Godma and Elisa? Haizz.. this is a question dat i nv thought of at all.. Neng Neng actually go there is for an exam and the rest of the daes is travelin.. but the thing is my fees will be paid by my dad and the transport fees will be paid my my godma and the lodgin is by my sis.. Honestly.. its EXPENSIVE!! and dat is the main reason dat pulls me back n reconsider if i shld go wif them..

I feel dat im really wastin their money.. study oso study most expensive one.. and now go overseas oso they haf to pay for me.. feel so useless... keep on cannot get a proper job and yet still think of playin? A lot of them ask me to go..

Godma says.. " Go lah! aniwae got ppl sponsor u!"

Mummys says... " This is a chance to go travelin at Europe.. coz I won't go so far one lor.. or juz treat it as a loan next time u work liao den pay us back" [ OHH!! i hate to be in debts! =( ]

Daddy says.. "this is the chance.. if not in future if u wan to go maybe nobody will go wif u or maybe the fares will be more expensive!"

Ah Min says.. " Go lah! Dun think so much"

Haizz.. Ah Grace ah.. Ah Grace!! R u really thinkin too much sometimes? I really dunno.. issit good to think abt the consequences? or Issit i got too much brain cells to kill? AHHHH!! and tml i haf to gif them an ans... Why!! Why!! Why!!! This shows dat i can't be a business person.. coz i can't do quick proper decisions and i may suffer a breakdown! OH My God!!!

9:00 AM

*gReYS*